Porn Addiction Counselling Perth

Sex is a natural human activity and watching porn is one way to express our sexuality. But when these activities get in the way of our day-to-day lives, they have become a problem.

Like any addiction, sex or porn addiction can become detrimental to our relationships, family, finances, career, and our mental and physical health. Unfortunately, there is still a lot of shame surrounding addiction and some people feel reluctant to get help. But reaching out and speaking to someone about your problem is the first step to overcoming it.

The process of addiction

To understand sex and porn addiction, we must first understand why addiction occurs.

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When we do something pleasurable like eating or having sex, the brain releases a chemical called dopamine. Dopamine makes us feel good. It gives us a feeling of pleasure. Dopamine is our brain’s way of rewarding us for these behaviours.

So we repeat these behaviours again and again for the same results. This process is called the reward system. It is a survival mechanism — motivating us to eat, drink and reproduce so we stay alive.

Some substances and behaviours give us a big hit of dopamine — two to 10 times the amount that natural rewards do – and this makes us feel really good. The feeling of immense pleasure becomes addictive, especially to people who are vulnerable, or may not feel good in themselves.

When we repeat an activity, we create a pattern of behaviour. We develop a habit. As we become more addicted, our brains become overwhelmed and begin producing less dopamine. So it takes more of the substance or behaviour to produce the desired effect. This is called tolerance.

Some people can take drugs, gamble, have sex or watch porn without developing an addiction. Even though these activities feel good, they are able to stop.

Why do some people become addicted and others don’t? Genetics, environment, emotional health and lifestyle all play a part.

Sex and porn addiction are behavioural addictions

Sex or porn addiction are different disorders, although they can overlap — a sex addict can also be addicted to porn and vice versa.

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Sex addiction is the compulsive need to engage in sexual activities. Having sex and/or masturbating gives the person a high, compelling them to chase this feeling in destructive ways e.g. having sex with co-workers, engaging in unprotected sex etc.

Porn addiction is a type of sex addiction but does not involve having sex. Although people addicted to porn are also chasing a high, they get their high from watching porn and/or masturbating to porn. Like sex addiction, porn addicts will go to many lengths to get their “fix” and this can be destructive.

Studies into brain activity show there are similarities between porn addiction and substance abuse. When watching porn, the prefrontal cortex and the amygdala (parts of the reward centre of the brain) activate, giving us a burst of dopamine. Sex is similar. When the sex addict engages in sexual activities, they get a release of dopamine and this feeling becomes addictive.

Signs you may benefit from porn addiction counselling

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You are spending hours online searching for porn and watching it
You find you are increasing the amount of time you spend watching porn
You experience a high when watching porn and a low when you are not
You are constantly having sexual fantasies
You can’t stop thinking about watching porn or planning your next session
You are worried about how much porn you are watching

You feel like your porn watching is getting in the way of your life e.g. you are watching porn when you should be working, you are losing sleep because you are staying up late to watch porn
You find sex with your partner has become boring compared to porn
Your partner is concerned with how much porn you are watching and/or you are worried your partner will find out about how much you are watching
You make promises to yourself or your partner that you will stop, and find yourself unable to.

Signs you may benefit from sex addiction counselling

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You are having sex with multiple partners
You are cheating on your partner
You can’t stop fantasising about sex
You are practising unsafe sex
You are obsessed with finding new sexual partners, regardless of consequence
You are masturbating compulsively (many times a day)

Your life is becoming a mess as a result of sex e.g. you may be struggling at work or have lost your job, your partner has left you
You feel guilt, shame and remorse about your sex life
You have tried to stop having sex multiple times with no success
You have little respect for the people you are having sex with
You are unable to respect sexual boundaries.

How can sex and porn addiction counselling in Perth help?

Counselling can be an effective treatment for sex and porn addiction.

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As with any addiction, there are underlying thoughts, feelings and beliefs that cause us to seek out destructive ways to cope with life. Some clients have anxiety and depression, and sex/porn is a way to self-medicate. Others may have not developed healthy ways to cope with the many trials and tribulations life throws their way.

Addiction is complex, and may take time and commitment to overcome. But if you want to recover, you can and will. Counselling allows you to talk through your thoughts and feelings, work out your triggers, and find ways to live without compulsive behaviours.

Emily_Hirshman-Smith_Couples_Counselling_Perth_Cottesloe_Fremantle_Therapy_Depression_Anxiety_Marriage_Relationship_Psychotherapist_Sex_Addiction_IMAGES_Services_Contact2.jpg — Do you think you could have a problem with porn and/or sex?

We can talk about how counselling can help you.

Contact Emily